To My Better Half – Life with a Spoonie

Relationships are a tricky one – each and every one comes with its trials and tribulations. The one you walked into with me, came with much more than most could imagine or would even be willing to consider taking on.

Two years before we came to be a couple, you were there. Without fail or hesitation, through the ups and the downs. Never once did I even fathom that this would be the one thing you wanted – why would it be? Not only did I come with a whole host of health problems – I also came with my two (amazing) children in tow this would be enough to make most men run for the hills.

For some reason far beyond me, not one single thing put you off. None of it made you think about running in the opposite direction. If anything, it seemed to make you want it more. It only proved to me as each day passed, that you truly were the best thing to come into our lives.

Your one of the most amazing and influential men I’ve ever known, you don’t only overlook all the things that would scare most people, you embrace them and take all the challenges in your stride.

You give me the strength to carry on when I feel I can’t. Reminding me of my worth and make me feel stronger than I ever could have imagined possible. You’ve given me back so much of myself that the world around me had slowly eaten away, these parts of me that I assumed were gone forever.

I was on a long slow road to recovery before you became my partner. I was getting there – but with you by my side. I’m coming on in leaps and bounds. Oddly enough this scared me and made me want to run away.

For the first time, I went against my urge to run away from the things that bring me happiness. Because I loved you so much, part of me didn’t want to burden you with all of this. Instead of closing the door, I opened up. Again you floored me. You made me feel for the first time it was irrelevant – you didn’t see my health as a problem, if anything it didn’t matter.

It was me that you wanted, the whole lot including the kids and that involved the bad days, not just the good ones. That you’re in this for the long haul and you wanted to be by my side every step of the way. I’d never been so overwhelmed.

On the bad days, without anger or frustration, you calmly remind me that this is still what you want (and that I’m an idiot). Putting all of my fears and anxieties at ease. Which I know can no doubt be beyond frustrating for you, like listening to the same broken record, But you do again and again without a second thought.

Regardless of my health physically – mentally you made me feel whole again for the first time since I can even remember.

Not once was I trying to find someone to make me feel better, it just happened our relationship was beyond unexpected. It was just natural. I couldn’t be happier with how things turned out, you’ve made me calmer, more comfortable and at ease.

You gave me the greatest gift anyone ever could have given me – the chance to be Amy again. You’ve never once complained, moaned or been angry at me for being sick. You’ve taken everything on and done nothing but been supportive and encouraging.

I know without even thinking about it, this no doubt was not what you planned your life to be – no one wants a partner that you have to see in pain or unwell. Instead, it just happened, this ended up being what you wanted, and you embraced every part of it.

Obviously, I know every day you wish for a cure or a way to make life easier for me but you’ve also accepted that this may never happen.

Even writing this, I will never be able to put into words or even begin to show you how much I adore you. The respect I have for you for being a man I never thought could even exist. The happiness and calm you’ve brought into my life.

The untold support and love you show me and the kid’s day in day out. And the way you handle everything that’s thrown at you like it’s nothing out of the ordinary. If my son turns into even half the man you couldn’t be prouder.

The little things you do without second thought. Opening packets and making sure nothings done up too tight for me to open. Running me a bath and bringing down fresh clothes when I’m exhausted and even putting on my socks when it hurts to do it myself. The small things that you do without even thinking that mean the most. Instead of making a big deal and making me feel pathetic – you make me laugh and smile.

So thank you, for helping me become the best version of myself I ever could be. The happiest mum and partner that I didn’t think was possible anymore. But mainly thank you for being you – the most incredible man I ever could have dreamed of finding.

With you, by my side. I feel like anything is possible. I just hope I can make you as happy as you make me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me feel normal and like me once again.

Thank you for being my rock ❤

Love always
You’re extraordinary pain in the back side
x

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